Saturday, April 6, 2013

Kiss My Skinny...Ankles

If you have no time to read today,
this is the moral of my post...

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
~ Mother Teresa

But if you have a moment to sit back and read for a moment, carry on:

Except for about 2 years in my early 20's, I have struggled with weight all my life. Due to a number of health complications, on April 1 2011, I started on a quest to get healthy.  And healthy I am.  60 lbs off of these 48 year old bones.  Size 14 to size 4.   And while I have lost weight, I have gained some valuable insight. 

Please note that all of the following is only MY OPINION!  :)

Things I have learned in the last year:
  • When you are slimmer, people are nicer to you.  I've had more doors held open for me, by men and women, than I even had when I was pregnant.  People pay more attention to you.  Smile at you more.
  • The slimmer you are, the more clothes you can buy on sale.  As the average sized woman in Canada and the US is size 12, that leaves lots of smaller sized clothes that go on sale.
  • Weight does not come off your knees and if you have thick ankles, you will still have thick ankles...what's up with that?
  • When you have lost weight, people watch what you are eating with 'eagle eyes'.  It's like they are waiting for you to 'slip' up. 
  • When you have lost weight, people tell you how to lose weight...(weird right?)  "You shouldn't eat so much fruit, it's so high in sugar."  Ummm...well it seems to be working for me so thanks for your advice but...
  • When you have lost weight, people expect you to gain it back.  And the sad part is, when you have struggled with your weight all your life, you are petrified that you will gain it back too.  But you have to believe in your mind (even more than in your heart) that the healthy eating and exercise is your new way of life.  I know I am worth the 30 - 45 minutes a day I put into exercising. 
But there is one thing that has not changed:

  • No matter your size, people still judge you.  They judge you and they give you their opinion of your size, solicited or not.
When you are heavier, people, even complete strangers, will make comments about what you look like and what you are eating. I had a customer who always called me 'chubby'.  "How's Chubby today?"  This is just as insulting as calling me 'fat' you ignorant #@!#@!  A few short months before I started losing weight, I had a clerk in a store refer to me to another co-worker as 'the big one' when pointing me out.  I could go on and on but this post is getting long enough and I still have my point to make.

A few weeks ago I had someone say to me, and not in a nice way, "OMG, you are way too skinny! You need to put weight on!"  Ummm....kiss my skinny a** sweetie...    

Now for the record - IN MY OPINION ONLY - being told you are too skinny is not as hurtful as being told you are too fat.  Though - I am sure the novelty of being called skinny would wear off after awhile too.

But I would suggest society in general tolerates skinny people much more than fat people.  Who do you see in magazines, internet ads and on TV more?  Thin people or heavy people?  (I read the other day that size 6 women are considered 'plus size' models....WTF????)  

So the moral of my long-winded post is that no matter your size, people are still going to judge you.  If you are happy the size that you are, then hold your head up and walk proud.  If you are not happy the size that you are, then change it.  Either way, do it for yourself and ignore all those 'special' people that will grace you with their comments, opinion and judgement.

Love yourself.

xo Catherine


Becca said...

SO Happy for you! Wow! A size 4!? I think the best part is that it sounds like you did it the "real" fancy diet just good food & exercise!

Deb said...

Amen, Catherine. You look great. Congrats! Hugs, Deb

Laurie said...

I can totally relate to everything you've said Catherine, I am heavy, and it burdens me every day. Growing up, I was made fun of for being so thin. Now, it's the opposite and has been for the past 20 years. I even had a child in a restaurant laugh at the "fat lady" while the parents chuckled with him. I'm on a quest to get to my healthy size, and boy it isn't easy, as I'm sure it wasn't for you at times. But rest assured, your post has strengthened me to forge ahead and achieve my goal. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart, and my fat bottom.
Congratulations on your success, I pray soon it's mine also!! You look fantastic!

a-l-t-i said...

Великолепно выглядите! Удачи вам и счастья!

Sandra said...

you are not to skinny you look great to me. and i have heard and seen all of the above... there is a 57 year old woman that goes to the Y and runs an hour in the moring and eveing. she is THIN to say the least. but she exercise 2 hours 7 days a week. one of the other 81 year old chubby ladies said to her the other day. you need to put on some weight, i think you have an eating disorder, you are anorexic and need help. she said this in front of all of us and standing in line waiting for the door to open. the lady is not anorexic, she is 5ft 11 in tall and is a good size for her height.
i hear people say, if you died your hair you would look younger, so you are right, everyone thinks they know what others should do or not do. soooo that said. i ignore them and do what i want. but i was not that way when i was young, i am now old enough to not care what they think. but it took almost 3 quarters of a century to get here

TexWisGirl said...

i am happy for YOU for being happy with yourself.

Connie said...

I saw you (from a distance) the other day! Wow!! You look absolutely fabulous! But even more important, you feel fabulous... and that's what counts the most. I could sure use some of your willpower!! xx

Crafting Queen said...

So glad you are happy and healthy! You look great and bet you feel great as well.
Believe me being skinny is just as bad, I have been 75lbs for most of my adult life and was skinny as a kid as well was constantly teased(and still have the nickname bones). It hurt just as much and you constantly have people telling you, you need to eat more. Finding clothes was a nightmare for me and had to buy kids clothes. If you are not a regular size you seem to struggle in this world, go figure. :)
Really happy that you are happy with yourself.
Hugs to you and Banjo.

Magia da Inês said...

º° ❤♫°
Olá, amiga!
Amei o seu post.
Já passei pelos dois extremos: magro, gorda, magra novamente e as pessoas são assim mesmo como você descreveu.
Comecei uma dieta mais saudável (sem alimentos gordurosos) por causa da hipertensão arterial, também faço exercícios físicos, optei pela caminhada).
Bom fim de semana!

°º♡ Beijinhos do Brasil
º° ♡ ❤♫° ·

S. Etole said...

Good thoughts that you've shared.

Fuzzy Tales said...

Your last paragraph in particular summed it up well.

We're not all meant to be a size 4 or a size 12 or a size 18 -- our body types are what they are. It's up to us to take responsibility for our *health* and aim for the best we can be, no matter the size of our clothes.

Coloring Outside the Lines said...

My eyes can't see the font in the comments,so I hope I'm not repeating anyone. This post resonates my feelings about the weight I have lost. I was nodding my head yes to everything you said. Especially the part about worrying that you will put it back on. The best part of all is the wonderful feeling of "I did it".

Teresa Evangeline/Bayou Summer said...

Congratulations, Catherine! You look beautiful! Just what I needed to read today for inspiration. Thank you.

norma said...

This is an excellent post. You nailed it !! I see a motivational speaker in my crystal ball, lol.
Luv ya.

Katy Noelle said...

Oh, Cat! I do only have a moment today (leaving for Cali. in just a couple of days! =) ) but... I have stopped and read and agree with every single thought and word - EVERY ONE of them has been my experience and my observations and how I feel! (including the 'WTF?'! if you can believe it!)

I think part of my journey has been to kick the opinions and judgements coming at me - from friend and foe - and to just be who I am! Even though.... that's what I was doing before but, there's nothing like experience gained, eh? I think you know what I'm talking about. ;)

Eep! Gotta go! But I love you friend! =)


Elisabeth said...

I had all the sizes Small Medium and Large ,that is what i am now .Never i had the feeling people behave differt to me ,no matter what size i am.Maybe i am just lucky.Have a great weekend.Elisabeth xxx

Mary said...

You GO Catherine! Yay for you. And i think you're right about everything you say here. I want to lose about 40 pounds, and i'm constantly getting unsolicited advice about how to do it. I've had two complete strangers ask me when i'm 'due.' lol. I can laugh now, but when i happened it was hurt and offended. (And who asks that question of anyone anyway?) If a friend is pregnant you know for sure she is, and you likely also know when she's due. Anyway, this is a great post. I love the longer ones. :) Congratulations on the lost pounds. You rock!

Carolynn Anctil said...

Holy crap! First of all - wow, my hat's off to you for losing 60 lbs!...actually, it's off to anyone who loses any amount of weight - I'm having a dickens of a time doing it. That said, in truth, I'm not trying very hard, either...are you going to eat that...? (kidding)

My eyes just about bugged out of my head when I read about the sort of comments you received in your other life. You've got to be kidding me! Talk about marginalizing another human being.

You keep doing what you're doing. Or not. It's totally up to you.

As for me: "I am NOT my waistline."


Tamago said...

I enjoyed reading your opinion, Catherine! Size 14 to 4 is quite amazing. I think it's true that people are nicer when you are slimmer. It's so rude of some people to call you chubby or big one.
You are so right and I totally agree that people still judge you no matter what your size is. And
it's important to be happy if you are happy no matter what others say...and if not happy, change! Great post! You really rock!

It's me said...

Be yourself...people always

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Catherine,
Seems that you graduated with flying colors! Wow, that is a LOT what you shed.
It IS true about a size 4 being on sale at Wal Mart prices; that's how I can dress the way I do. I gave up sewing as it is cheaper to buy on sale. If I need something that is.
Oh, I've had those comments to for having to gain some weight. For what? Let me be the way I am and you are so right; no matter what there always will be comments made.
Hugs to you and please do tell this also to Banjo!

The Smiths said...

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be... It sounds like you've been treated terribly!

As long as you are happy & feel good... That's all that matters!

Well done Catherine - it's a wonderful achievement & you look fabulous!!!

Kay :)

Brian said...

I judge you, and you are guilty of being a great person and a terrific friend, so there!!!

~Kim at Golden Pines~ said...

What a great accomplishment!! You are an inspiration to people like me who are struggling to stay on track, THANK YOU for that! And as you well know, don't let anyone take away from your success and how you feel, you've worked hard and earned it! :-) THANKS for the good thoughts today too!!!

BeadedTail said...

Congrats on your success to a new healthier you! I lost 3 lbs this week and was so excited but have plenty to go! :) Isn't it crazy how people treat each other? It's obviously their problem if they have to say something negative to someone yet that doesn't make it bother us any less. Enjoy your new body and don't let anyone rain on your parade!

Lin said...

I remember sitting in my Weight Watchers meetings and they would constantly say that you shouldn't lose weight for anyone but yourself. I disagree. I think you should lose weight for you, but you should also do it for your husband--so he likes what he sees and that you might be healthier and live a longer life together. I also think you should lose it for your kids--so you can do stuff with them like roller-skating and running around the yard.

People are gonna talk no matter what--heck, they talk about me because I wear lipstick every single day of my life. It drives them CRAZY! :)

You look lovely and I'm glad you lost the weight so you feel better about yourself and you are healthier.

Linens and Royals said...

You look great, 60lbs is a lot to loose, congratulations. I would like to lose 10lbs, as I am only just over 5ft tall with a small frame that is a lot. Or I could just grow taller with the added bonus of being able to reach the top shelf in the supermarket. Or I could follow your example and use some self discipline.
Wonderful post. XO

Heather said...

Catherine, congrats in your success to reach your goals to be healthy and happy!

I, like Crafting Queen, have been mostly on the light side all my life, and I always get comments about being "skinny" even now, and growing up, the names... well... even in my career years, I had a co-worker tell me I had pencil legs, it hurt me and yes, I admit, I wanted to say back in retort "well I'd rather have pencils than tree trunks", but I didn't because that would have hurt her...

I totally understand what you are saying and I cannot comment on all your thoughts because I have not been in your shoes, but I have had my share of comments... but in the end, it always comes down to Bambi and Thumper "if you don't have nothin' nice to say, then don't say nothin' at all"! and those people who feel the need to judge other people obviously are not happy with themselves if they feel the need to bring another down!

Hold your head up hight, you are great! Cheers~

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

Girl, you look mavvvalous!

I think you have to find your perfect healthy weight and just go with it. The heck with what other people say...sometimes perfectly nice people can be ignorant.


SweetMarie said...

First, I think you look fabulous! And I love the fact that everything you are doing, you are doing for you!
I agree with everything you have said here. My friends tell me that I don't need to lose weight and I tell them it's about how I feel, not how I look to others.
You go girl!!!

Ann said...

First off, you look fantastic, your hard work paid off.
Most of the time I think that people who make comments like that do so because they aren't happy with the way they look.

Linda R said...

You're looking good girly. Don't you just feel better and have more energy when you work out? So true how people always have to put there two cents in..


The Chair Speaks said...

You look normal to us here in Asia. Purrs!


congratulations! Excellent post! You look absolutely fabulous! Have a nice day!

dancing-muffin said...

Wonderful,Catherine,you look great!
What somebody is making ,let him make it for himself,to feel good.
Because the people can find Things to talk about you,no matter what you are.
Thanks for your Lyric,my friend.

Susan said...

It's hard work to lose weight, so I just want to say "YAY for Catherine!"
Being someone who has worked, and worked and worked to be in shape and skinny,and never really liked herself, and now being 60, overweight and feeling really crappy, I actually like myself. What's up with that?

Donna said...

wow! a venting post it!

you look fabulousio!!! When I have said (unfortunately) to people "you are so skinny" it is a great compliment and I am jealous of them. Judging is hurtful - losing weight is health and vitality and loving yourself, therefore you can do the things in life that make a difference for others, because you are healthy!

love to vent! i need to vent more on my blog...maybe the next post!

Betsy Adams said...

Love this post... With your permission, I may include it in my 'story' sometime --which is similar...

I will add that when we are in control of what we put in our mouths, we are happier with ourselves.. Being happy with US and loving US is so important for our health and well-being.

I've had people tell me that I'm too skinny. PUH-LEASE. I also had one person (maybe more) who said that they hadn't said anything about my weight loss since they thought I was SICK.... Gads! (People are funny!)

I made it through my first 6 months of maintenance -which is the hardest part for me.. (I have always gained it back before --but am determined not to do that THIS time.) Six months ago I was at 141 (doctor wanted me at 145) ---and now I'm at 137 (almost to college weight)... Mercy Me!!!! ha

Proud of you--Beautiful lady.

Susan McShannon-Monteith said...

I think you look marvelous Cat and don't let anyone else tell you different.
I can tell by the words you've written you are very content with yourself and that's what really matters.
Spring has finally arrived here by gale force winds.
Have a great week.
Susan x

Sarah said...

Words of wisdom. I have been judged all my life. Even when I was thin I was being called fat. One day I finally gained weight just so they could all be right. But, I still get judged. I have noticed, as you have, that when you are heavier people are not as nice to you. I can't believe anyone would have ever said you were chubby. How rude. Take a look around!

Sarah said...

Forgot to say congrats! That is quite an accomplishment.

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

Yep! I know exactly what you mean. When I lost weight (about 30 lbs) I had so many people tell me that I didn't look good because my face was too skinny and I needed to gain some weight. I had just worked my butt off to lose the weight because I wanted to be fit and 40, not fat and 40 and they wanted to me to gain some back. When people tell you such things, it is only because they are jealous. I made the change for health reasons, not because I wanted to look better -- that's just a bonus. I could do with some toning up. I loved when I was a size 4 and could fit into anything. Now I'm about an 8 and I'm good with that. I eat right and don't want to be fanatical. I just want to feel good about myself. That's all that matters. To heck with the naysayers! Best wishes for a great new week. Tammy

Anonymous said...

Perfect post and soooo well said. I'd be happy just to drop another 10 pounds. Exercise, fruit and veggies are key as any doctor will tell you, or rather that person who wondered why you eat so much fruit. xox

Kerri said...

Very well said my friend!!
and you looked GREAT Before too :)
And the BEST PART....
You have SUCH a SWEET HEART :)

kittykye said...

That's why I never listen to people. My body, my life. You just have to be happy in your own skin, no matter what size you are. :)
I thought you were a very pretty woman before, and you still are now. You seem like a very soft natured person on the inside, and that's really what matters. :)

Hot Rocks said...

You look fabulous dahling! I bet you feel fabulous too. Isn't it amazing what a " little health problem" will motivate you to do? I lost my weight when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and went from a size 10 to a size 4. I have never felt better! So proud of you Catherine!

Jaime said...

I so wish we didn't live in such a cruel and judgemental world. I saw a really disturbing documentary a few weeks ago.. it followed a young norwegian girl as she began a career in modelling. The first scene was a room full of girls in swimsuits standing in line to be judged by a model scout... the things the scouts were saying about these young girls was so upsetting... comments about putting one particular girl on a diet... she was already rail thin!!! And the ones that were chosen were treated so horribly. You are so right... no matter what your size, people will judge.
Congratulations on becoming a healthier, happier you!! And I love how you have found fun ways to get there (hula hooping is something I've really got to try!)

Lúcia said...

You're a winner my friend, and that's more than enough. ;-)

BumbleVee said...

I gave up caring what horrible people said to me ...including kids..well, mostly kids.... when I was a small child in a totally dysfunctional household.

Splendid Little Stars said...

What's with people??!
How about celebrating with a person who has accomplished such a feat?

too fat; too skinny. What business is it of yours anyway? (If you are very close then perhaps your respectful opinion mentioned lovingly once-ish is acceptable.)

lots of rhetorical questions....

When I had a broken leg and was using a walker (briefly) I had some very interesting experiences as well.

Congratulations, Catherine! That is marvelous! You're awesome!


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